Several months after my husband and I separated, it finally occurred to me that I was free to date. The last time I'd been single, I'd had copious amounts of free time, was beholden to no one, and believed in love.
Now, however, I had 16 years of marriage and 11 years of motherhood under my belt, plus a less-than-starry-eyed attitude about romance.
Infants and toddlers won't register that this is Mommy's new boyfriend.
Older kids' reactions could run the gamut from very threatened to seemingly indifferent.
) Or join an online dating site where you can cast your net as wide as you'd like. In my three-plus years of postmarital singledom, I've gone on one or two dates with non-dads, but my two longer-term relationships have been with fathers.
Your married friends will eagerly help you write your profile and, in return, you will provide them much-needed vicarious thrills. Men who haven't been in the parenting trenches, even if they love kids, just seem to speak a different language, one that doesn't necessarily have a translation for phrases such as, "I can't leave my son with a babysitter tonight because he has the flu."On the other hand, dating a man with kids can be a scheduling nightmare, requiring both of you to synchronize with your exes and their new love interests, and the new love interests' exes, ad infinitum.
There's no reason to put everyone through the meet-up if he's going to be history next week.
Once you're really, solidly a couple, how you handle this depends a lot on your own values and the age of your kids, and how long you and your guy have been together.
Fink feels strongly about keeping her sex life and her parenting life completely separate.
My friend Kristin Cole, who lives in Montclair, New Jersey, recalls that her 10-year-old announced that he was going to say "I hate you! What really happened is that they tossed a football around in the yard and ended up becoming pretty chummy.
Much will also depend on how your beau handles himself.